I know. I know. There’s only been two episodes and I’m already pretty annoyed with American Horror Story. Here are some suggestions as to what I would do.
1. Two-hour premiere for the first night if things are going to be this slow. Or back to back night premieres. Yes, we’ve had two gruesome deaths but we’re not sure what killed them or we’re supposed to question ourselves as to who killed them.
2. Shorter seasons. I’d be fine with a shorter season if it meant more action faster. I guess my millenial brain doesn’t like the pace. So far Sarah Paulson is scared of stuff her wife doesn’t see and Winter is a terrible baby sitter. Yawn.
This episode we pick up right where the last episode ended with Ally screaming. Which is a good portion of the first episode. And there’s still no cult. We knew who the Coven, the Freak Show, the Hotel, the Roanoke Nightmare, Asylum and Murder House were. We knew where all of those things were and that messed up stuff was happening in them.
Where is the cult? Has the cult been made yet? Who is in the cult?
I’ve been struggling with calling Sarah Paulson, Sarah Paulson or Ally and Allison Pill, Ivy for the blog because in my mind I’ve been calling them smart wife and not smart wife. The longer this season goes on I may have to start calling them that for good.
I don’t care how badly someone wants to move into a house. You can’t buy a house that quickly let alone MOVE IN that fast. But they’re two of some of my favorite actors, one is from Parks and Recreation and the other is from What I Like About You.
Then, Sarah Paulson (Ally) snoops, gets caught snooping and can’t even play it off and this is before she judges her old neighbors (who were murdered) for being renters. If I’m supposed to feel empathy for Ally I don’t and I can’t.
The chef is a jerk to his staff. Shocker, because chefs are always wonderful people to their staff. Also, how are you going to fight someone who has a knife with a ladle?
How is Winter still their baby sitter/nanny?!
I am hoping we get some flashbacks to when Ally wasn’t crazy because I really can’t see Ivy marrying her being like this on purpose.
Non-shocker! Jerk chef dies. Smart wife, clearly tells not so smart wife to not go in if there looks like there’s been a break in and what does not smart wife do? Goes in the restaurant anyway. You’re not smart, your smart wife told you not to go in if it looks like a break in and you’re scared of EVERYTHING. I just don’t get why she would still go in? But she isn’t smart so my mind shouldn’t be blown.
Which brings me to my point and possibly the point of the episode if not the season.
Ally sees the chef on the meat hook dying, misreading the situation, she offers him “help” and ends up making it worse and actually killing him. And that might be the point of the entire season – NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THEY’RE DOING. So they’re just doing dumb stuff or whatever pops into their mind based on the information they have to make a decision.
Ally gets a gun and that’s the last thing home girl needs and we find out ten minutes later.
But first this exchange:
“Where are you getting your information from?”
“Facebook.”
We’re two episodes into this stuff and we get it, show. We get it.
I guess Fear is the monster? Or our actions based on fear is the monster?
You know what’s a monster? Actual monsters that appear from inside your mattress to do horrible things to you. Not a bunch of jerks in clown masks and a not smart wife being an idiot. Although she is kind of scary, I don’t think I’d let that woman anywhere near me.
I’m hopefully pretty sure that people who watch American Horror Story aren’t trying to get preached to by a tv show about fake news. But thanks for trying anyway show. If you aren’t going to reveal stuff this soon or you want to drag stuff out until the 6th or 7th episode to mimic the rings of hell or something like that then I’m not sure what the heck is happening with the show.
Next week looks like more of the same so I sarcastically can’t wait. I’m holding onto hope for this show, I’ve come this far.
You Decide Your Own Level of Involvement 